Post Christmas Port View

The holiday season continues to be a battle of highs and lows for me. It is now a complicated mixture of favorite memories and exciting 'firsts' with the kids as well as depressing reminders of those no longer with us and years and moments passing by almost so fast they are forgotten.

Blew Horizon lit up for Christmas

I actually kind of hate the holidays. I love the idea of them but really they just make me an emotional wreck. This year no different than the last ones; just another heartache with the passing of my friend and collegue Karen Raynor who was an incredible role model to me as my deputy principal at the middle school I teach.

Her passing happened the first day of the holiday break and really heightend all the loss and sadness I already feel around this time of year. She was a wonderful confidant and a great inspiration to me. Actually one of the people who inspired this very blog. You have no idea how many times I sat in her office giving renditions of my life and the antics that seem to happen to me on a daily basis. She was always telling me "you need to have a TV crew following you around with this stuff; or at the least record it". We laughed all the time about how the Kardashian's would be like watching "reruns of America's Funniest Home Videos" compared to my life! When she got sick with cancer two years ago and was not at school as often for our little chats I would write her my stories in e-mails and send her links to the blog. She was a faithful follower and a great supporter of my tales. I miss her terribly already.

As well as the loss there are all the 'events' of Christmas and when you have kids those multiply. There was actually one year that Mark got phsycially ill from eating too much "Christmas Dinner" as we had so many "dinners" to visit that year. Once Marley and Jacob came along that intensified as each family wants their turn with the grandkids. It is overwhelming. We are getting better at managing the holidays and the events surrounding Christmas. This year actually had ALL of Christmas Day to ourselves. The funny thing was we were not prepared for that at all and by the end of the day even became bored of eachothers company! The highlight though was taking the kids for their first bike ride and then Mark taking Jacob and Marlena in the Opti for a sail around Dockyard. We also got a very cool swing for the boom for Christmas that entertained the kids on the dock for quite a bit of the day. On the Saturday we did end up having a little get together on the dock and on our boat for friends and family who were home visiting for the holidays and while it ended up only being our usual crew of visitors "all the way to Dockyard" it did allow me to get a little bit festive on the boat with food and drinks! These things all together did make for a very relaxing and 'family' Christmas day so I really can't complain.

Living on a boat also ads different challenges to the Christmas season. First of all our house is never on the list for Christmas dinner. There is just no way anyone is cooking a turkey with all the fixings in our tiny galley and even if we managed the feast between the BBQ and the two burners there is no where to put everyone, plus a tree, and presents. So thats out meaning we have to travel to everyone else. We have no problem doing that however from Dockyard to the east end of the island all holiday can get very tedious. Sure its only 40 mins or so; however its a long 40 mins with all the holiday drivers and its 40 mins one way just to come all the way back another 40 mins! In the past we have taken the 'house' to town or even off Flatts which is again in the eastern end of the island. Moving the boat is weather dependant especially as we still do not have an engine in her. This makes planning stressful too because I can not tell any member of my family exactly what our plans are until just days before Christmas. If its calm we will bring the boat; where exactly I dont know; it depends on the weather. If the weather makes up we will be driving; what time; I don't know we may need to do something with the boat. So we are always 'late' and letting people down because our plans are literally up in the air depending on the wind! Then prsents. The dreaded presents. I love the excitement of the presents under the tree and Santa coming down the chimney but it does get a bit much. I hate the feeling of being obligated to buy someone something or put them on your 'list' because you have always gotten for one another or they got you something. Also where exaclty am I expected to pack, hide, wrap, and stock all these gifts? I have one spot behind our couch that fits a few small items but this year I mostly resorted to my classroom at school (which is not safe for trendy Chrismtas items!) and the trunk of my car. There is also the task of getting all the gifts to the right people all over the holidays. Well I failed miserably at that this year. Half our family didn't get the right gifts they were supposed to get and I still have 3 gifts sitting on the boat for people I didn't get to and I don't know how many in my car!

Finally there is the decorating. As you can see we do decorate the boat for the holidays. I think it is in my blood to decorate. I remember my grandmother always decorating for any given holiday; Thanksgiving, Valentines Day, Easter, St. Patricks Day..... My mom is also a big decorator but not in the tacky Halmark way more like the sophisticated Martha Stweart way. I on the other hand am the queen of the Tacky Tinsle Tour! The kids crafts from school, straight up and on the mast or door or whereever the double sided tape will stick, fake Chrismtas tree with mismatched orniments collected in years past. There is a warmth to Christmas lights that I just love and celebrating the holidays with family and friends no matter how I complain or grow anxious about it does leave a warmth in my heart. I am thankful this year for the the beautful things that we have accomplished as a family. It really has been an incredible year for us. You may remember in my last posts as I neared my 30th birthday I set a few goals. Well we didn't make it off the dock quite as much as we would have liked and I started my piolts course but didnt finish but I also ran my first ever half marathon and married my best friend of 13 years. We are now coming on to 3 years on 'Blew Horizon' and life on the boat with babies is GOOD!

 

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Middle to End with a great Ending!

Today I walked the middle to end for the unknown amount of times.  My dad and I usually do it every year, he was an End to End walker but recently has been doing the middle to end.  For my foreign readers, this is an annual fund raiser in Bermuda where people are sponsored to walk from one end of the island to the other (aprox 20 miles) or from half of the island to the other, or make it to the end in a variety of different ways including swimming, biking, at one point skateboarding or horseback riding... check out http://www.bermudaendtoend.bm/ for more details. Somewhere on there you can also pledge me, I'm under the Sandys Secondary Middle School team.
Anyway, after a fairly early hen night in town I arrived home to Jacob ready for some love and attention.  His teeth are still bad, and all he really wants at this point is to be up and have a bottle. So with about 4 hours of sleep Mark, Marley and Jacob dropped me off at the ferry to town where I was meeting my dad for the start of the race.  He is very competitive and does not like to start with all the 'novice walkers' as you then spend half the walk over taking them so we had agreed to meet outside HSBC to get ahead of the mob.  Unforuntatly miscommunication meant I was at the wrong HSBC and we started just before the mob.  Even still it seemed a lot of people had left early this year anyway ad we were overtaking people most of the way.  Including at first my cousins who cheered us on and mocked my dads competitive nature.  He is just over 6ft and me just over 5ft has to do double the work to keep up with him but I was feeling good at the start.  However this did not last long, my dear mum who is a sucker for a gimmick bought us all 'gravity defying sneakers'.  I had practised with them on my morning walks this week and them seemed fine, maybe just a little too roomy.  Once I got to Paget lights I knew I was in for trouble, I could feel blisters beginning and by 1/4 of the way there I had some for sure.  Funny enough it felt better to run.  However, I have not been training to run 13 miles, so a continuous run was out of the question.  I walked-ran for most of it and by the lighthouse I could feel my knee start to hurt.  This was also just after the funniest part of the walk when a group of vagrant men  (who loot the railway trail during the walk to 'observe the walkers') called out how 'fine i was looking'.... la la la... then said to my dad who was a few paces behind me at that point 'I can see why your walking... i'd be walking too if I was behind her!'.  My humoured dad gave them the thumbs up and said 'she looks good don't she?!' at which point I called back; "I'm his DAUGHTER, come on!".  Soon after that my dad got into a strong pace and took off, I just could not keep up with my feet on fire like that. I was so frustrated because physically I felt like I could run most of it but my feet just weren't able.  I guess this is how proper runners feel about a bad race they have, it was really heartbreaking in the moment.  Close to the end Mark had brought the kids along the route to cheer me on, Jacob was asleep but my ever enthusiastic Marley cheered me on and told me that they had lost yet another of Jacobs paccis on the way there! Mark said he was really chuffed with himself as so many people commented on what a great dad he was for bringing his kids out and having a picnic with them.  I agree but the funny thing is, why wouldn't he?  It is sad that so many men wouldn't do that and he gets such props for doing what should be a no brainier! I finally made it to Dockyard, just a little under my usual time with my dad of 4 hours.  Michael Jackson brought me in running to 'beat it' and my loving kids and Mark were there at the finish to greet me! I was in a pretty bad way with my feet after the race and needed lots of recoup time.  I had a nap with Jacob and then decided that handling both kids for the night was going to be a bit much for me to handle; especially as Mark was going to be out at the bachelor party.
When he headed there he took Jacob to Nanas and Marley and I had our very first, very own girls night.  The plan was to go to the Dockyard movie theatre and get popcorn then come back to the boat and watch Cinderella.  But when we got to the theatre, wouldn't you know that there was a PG animated PIRATE movie playing. I asked Marley if she wanted to see the movie instead and she agreed.  It was such an amazing night with her. My little girl is growing up so fast, and she is the most beautiful person I know.  So sincere and humble.  I was grinning from ear to ear at our little adventure, almost to the point of tears and I kind of think she felt the same.
Tomorrow is her first ballet recital.  Where is my baby girl going? AND what was life ever like before her?!  Its a fairly calm night on the boat, i've finished the dishes, bottles, and packing way.  Marley is fast asleep in her bed; she went down after a quick bath so easily.  I really am living the dream; and lucky to be.