The holiday season continues to be a battle of highs and lows for me. It is now a complicated mixture of favorite memories and exciting 'firsts' with the kids as well as depressing reminders of those no longer with us and years and moments passing by almost so fast they are forgotten.
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| Blew Horizon lit up for Christmas |
I actually kind of hate the holidays. I love the idea of them but really they just make me an emotional wreck. This year no different than the last ones; just another heartache with the passing of my friend and collegue Karen Raynor who was an incredible role model to me as my deputy principal at the middle school I teach.
Her passing happened the first day of the holiday break and really heightend all the loss and sadness I already feel around this time of year. She was a wonderful confidant and a great inspiration to me. Actually one of the people who inspired this very blog. You have no idea how many times I sat in her office giving renditions of my life and the antics that seem to happen to me on a daily basis. She was always telling me "you need to have a TV crew following you around with this stuff; or at the least record it". We laughed all the time about how the Kardashian's would be like watching "reruns of America's Funniest Home Videos" compared to my life! When she got sick with cancer two years ago and was not at school as often for our little chats I would write her my stories in e-mails and send her links to the blog. She was a faithful follower and a great supporter of my tales. I miss her terribly already.
As well as the loss there are all the 'events' of Christmas and when you have kids those multiply. There was actually one year that Mark got phsycially ill from eating too much "Christmas Dinner" as we had so many "dinners" to visit that year. Once Marley and Jacob came along that intensified as each family wants their turn with the grandkids. It is overwhelming. We are getting better at managing the holidays and the events surrounding Christmas. This year actually had ALL of Christmas Day to ourselves. The funny thing was we were not prepared for that at all and by the end of the day even became bored of eachothers company! The highlight though was taking the kids for their first bike ride and then Mark taking Jacob and Marlena in the Opti for a sail around Dockyard. We also got a very cool swing for the boom for Christmas that entertained the kids on the dock for quite a bit of the day. On the Saturday we did end up having a little get together on the dock and on our boat for friends and family who were home visiting for the holidays and while it ended up only being our usual crew of visitors "all the way to Dockyard" it did allow me to get a little bit festive on the boat with food and drinks! These things all together did make for a very relaxing and 'family' Christmas day so I really can't complain.
Living on a boat also ads different challenges to the Christmas season. First of all our house is never on the list for Christmas dinner. There is just no way anyone is cooking a turkey with all the fixings in our tiny galley and even if we managed the feast between the BBQ and the two burners there is no where to put everyone, plus a tree, and presents. So thats out meaning we have to travel to everyone else. We have no problem doing that however from Dockyard to the east end of the island all holiday can get very tedious. Sure its only 40 mins or so; however its a long 40 mins with all the holiday drivers and its 40 mins one way just to come all the way back another 40 mins! In the past we have taken the 'house' to town or even off Flatts which is again in the eastern end of the island. Moving the boat is weather dependant especially as we still do not have an engine in her. This makes planning stressful too because I can not tell any member of my family exactly what our plans are until just days before Christmas. If its calm we will bring the boat; where exactly I dont know; it depends on the weather. If the weather makes up we will be driving; what time; I don't know we may need to do something with the boat. So we are always 'late' and letting people down because our plans are literally up in the air depending on the wind! Then prsents. The dreaded presents. I love the excitement of the presents under the tree and Santa coming down the chimney but it does get a bit much. I hate the feeling of being obligated to buy someone something or put them on your 'list' because you have always gotten for one another or they got you something. Also where exaclty am I expected to pack, hide, wrap, and stock all these gifts? I have one spot behind our couch that fits a few small items but this year I mostly resorted to my classroom at school (which is not safe for trendy Chrismtas items!) and the trunk of my car. There is also the task of getting all the gifts to the right people all over the holidays. Well I failed miserably at that this year. Half our family didn't get the right gifts they were supposed to get and I still have 3 gifts sitting on the boat for people I didn't get to and I don't know how many in my car!
Finally there is the decorating. As you can see we do decorate the boat for the holidays. I think it is in my blood to decorate. I remember my grandmother always decorating for any given holiday; Thanksgiving, Valentines Day, Easter, St. Patricks Day..... My mom is also a big decorator but not in the tacky Halmark way more like the sophisticated Martha Stweart way. I on the other hand am the queen of the Tacky Tinsle Tour! The kids crafts from school, straight up and on the mast or door or whereever the double sided tape will stick, fake Chrismtas tree with mismatched orniments collected in years past. There is a warmth to Christmas lights that I just love and celebrating the holidays with family and friends no matter how I complain or grow anxious about it does leave a warmth in my heart. I am thankful this year for the the beautful things that we have accomplished as a family. It really has been an incredible year for us. You may remember in my last posts as I neared my 30th birthday I set a few goals. Well we didn't make it off the dock quite as much as we would have liked and I started my piolts course but didnt finish but I also ran my first ever half marathon and married my best friend of 13 years. We are now coming on to 3 years on 'Blew Horizon' and life on the boat with babies is GOOD!
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